So many couples dream about starting a family one day. They spend late night conversations over a glass of wine dreaming about what their children might look like, who they’ll take after and what they’ll grow up to be. Maybe they’ll worry about moving to a bigger house, or the cost of schooling and university. But one thing they almost certainly won’t discuss is how much donor eggs cost.
Coping with infertility is a serious blow to any couple and can be extremely taxing on the relationship as well. So before you consider any of the (thankfully numerous) options available to you both, you’ll need to be sure that you spend an appropriate amount of time coming to terms with the fact that your child won’t share your DNA.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
You may receive a diagnosis early on into your fertility journey, or you may go through rounds of IVF treatments with unsuccessful outcomes. Every couple has their personal story and reasons behind choosing to use donor eggs and they are all fraught with emotions. Most women confess to struggling with a veritable rollercoaster of emotions before, during, and even after the process.
Jealousy, rage, bitterness, sadness, depression, and even mourning for the child you’ll never have together are all extremely common (and healthy) feelings. Even women who’ve been blessed with giving birth to their own perfect baby conceived through donor egg may still find themselves wondering about the child they never had. The best thing to do is to confront your feelings head on, be open with your partner and make sure that you’re both on the same page about what your options are.
Weighing up Your Options
Once you’ve decided not to give up hope on your dream of having a family together, you’ll need to start weighing up your options. If you’ve always dreamed about being pregnant, carrying your child in your womb, feeling them kick and move inside you, and finally giving birth to them, then the great news is that modern fertility has now made this possible.
Thanks to donor eggs, you can still experience being pregnant, giving birth to your child, breastfeeding him and, above all, cultivating that unbreakable bond that begins between mother and child way before birth.
Using Donor Eggs
If you’ve decided to try an egg donor, then you’ll need to consult with a fertility expert and find out the options available to you. Luckily with massive advances in egg vitrification (egg freezing) and thawing protocols, women of today now have a lot more selection and support than before.Donor egg treatment is also more accessible, as the cost has come down significantly from thirty years ago.
While egg donation has been available for more than three decades, the traditional procedure was always carried out using fresh donor eggs, which is still a very common option for couples struggling with infertility. If you decide to go down this route, you’ll need to find a donor who lives close to you so that your menstrual cycles can be synched up.
For many years fresh donor eggs have been associated with higher success birth rates than frozen eggs, but unfortunately this treatment is also a lot more expensive. However, the more we learn and improve on egg freeze and thaw techniques, the better the technology becomes. Success rates are now comparable between frozen and fresh donor eggs.
Choosing Frozen Donor Eggs
Because your cycle no longer needs to be synchronised with that of the donor, choosing frozen donor eggs means that you can start whenever you (and your uterus) are ready. You’ll also avoid multiple trips to the clinic and taking high amounts of medication to ensure harmonious cycle synchronisation.
Using frozen donor eggs not only makes this fertility treatment much more economically viable (at around half the price of using fresh donor eggs), but many women also report that there is less of an emotional pull, as there is no involvement with the donor required at all.
What’s more, if you want to select a donor who has similar traits to yourself, using frozen donor eggs will give you more options, as you can choose from a national donor pool of samples, rather than having to find somebody locally available. Not only will you be able to choose the hair and eye colour of the donor, but you can also select certain other traits, such as size and stature, and even education levels.
If you decide that using frozen donor eggs is your best fertility option, you’ll need to complete a pre-screening process with your chosen fertility expert. When this procedure is complete, you can select the donor from the comfort of your own home and, once you’ve decided that you’re both ready to start, it usually takes about four to eight weeks. Just think; in a few months’ time you could be finding out that you’re pregnant!
You’ll have learned by now that sometimes in life you have to be pretty strong to survive all the blows you receive. Using donor eggs may not be the way you and your partner envisaged it over that bottle of Pinot, but then again, when did anything in life ever turn out exactly how you planned? And how many times were the things outside of your control so much better than you ever imagined?
*This is a collaborative post*