Making yourself a better spouse – before you become one!

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As you might expect, there’s more to being a life partner to someone than simply providing love and sex, although those are important factors of course.

The idea behind making yourself a better spouse before you actually become one, is that you adopt the right frame of mind towards relationships and take greater responsibility for your actions, amongst other things.

 On the subject of responsibility, if you are still actively searching out that special someone, it makes a lot of sense to practice good sexual health practices and get tested nearby, on a regular basis.

 Finding the right person

 When you are trying to find the right person, it often pays to start with yourself, as you really need to aim to be the right person in order to find the right person.

 If you have just come out of a previous relationship or are struggling to maintain anything meaningful with someone for any period of time, it might help to take a step back and do a bit of a relationship inventory.

 This involves looking for some obvious patterns and common themes that seem to crop up whenever you find things breaking down.

 See if there are any things that you can change within yourself that might help you to avoid the same scenario again in the future. If you can learn and evolve, it will often make you a better person and stronger, which will certainly help when you try to build a relationship that is for life.

Be more decisive

Another positive step towards becoming a better partner is to try to become more decisive where necessary and be prepared to take action when it is called for.

There is no question that certain elements of our behaviour can make quite a difference to how happy your relationship is.

If you can aim to be as understanding and forgiving as possible, these are positive attributes to possess along with being more decisive in a positive way, such as sharing what you need and want from a relationship.

Focus on quality

There is a lot written and spoken about the benefits of quality time together, but in terms of making a relationship work and enjoying longevity if and when you are married, the key point that matters, is what works for both of you.

There is plenty of relationship research around which suggests that you can still enjoy a good bond and a strong relationship with each other, if you are spending a lot of time apart, due to work commitments or other unavoidable circumstances.

The conclusion is that long-distance relationships have every chance of being just as strong as any other, provided the time you have together is big on quality.

You can take that example and apply it your own relationship circumstances, by aiming to focus more on achieving quality time together rather than worrying how much time you spend in each other’s company.

Appreciating what real love feels like 

The key message to take on board here is that it can help you to be a better partner if you are able to appreciate that real love doesn’t hurt, in the long run. 

In the immediate aftermath of an argument or an incident that has created a bit of tension and friction, love is the common denominator that smoothes out those wrinkles and ensures that you are back in each other’s arms shortly afterwards.

Real love often brings an element of consistency into your relationship too. Knowing that you both care deeply for each other allows you to not react so strongly or pick a fight in the first place.

Appreciating what real love feels like, should certainly help you to be a better spouse too.

Look after yourself

It is also worth saying that if you look after your own physical health and general wellness, which includes eating properly and keeping yourself in good physical and mental shape, this is a positive factor that can have a big influence on your relationship and will help you to become a better partner and spouse when the time comes.

Oscar Coles writes about love, relationships and being a better husband or wife yourself. He is a relationship therapist who also pens articles for an online audience.

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