Early pregnancy loss

I feel so, so blessed to have my 3 children. Their pregnancies were all relatively problem free – the odd niggle here and there, but overall no concerns. The births were not ideal by any means (you can read my birth stories here) but at the end of the day they are now all happy, healthy children and I know how lucky I am, I really do.

Did you know that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage? This can mean anything from going to your scan only to find no heartbeat, to losing a pregnancy very early on, just as you have found out. Which is exactly what happened to me a few weeks ago.

Early pregnancy loss and miscarriage

We hadn’t been expecting it, but something told me that I ought to take a test – and it was positive. Cue huge shock, and a frantic call to the husband to inform him. 

My mind was whirling with thoughts. Could we cope with 4? How would the other 3 children react? Could we afford this? Is 4 C sections a sensible choice, can my body cope? Underneath all the questions though, was something else. A little bubble of happiness that said maybe this was meant to be. Maybe there are destined to be 4 children in this family. We would cope, we could cope, we could make it work. 

I got on the phone to my doctor, and we discussed the implications of a 4th C section. Although not ideal by any stretch of the imagination, I would be closely monitored and as long as I took the recovery slowly he didn’t foresee any problems. Great I thought, it’s all looking a bit more manageable.

And then I started bleeding.

I know that bleeding in pregnancy is very, very normal so I didn’t feel overly concerned. But as the day went on, and I packed my bags for Britmums, I knew that this wasn’t meant to be. That maybe this family is not meant to have 4 children after all. 

Britmums weekend passed by in a blur of new faces, fantastic learning opportunities and hugs. It was amazing, but slightly overshadowed by the thoughts at the back of my head. I avoided the keynotes – I knew I wasn’t in the right place for those, and made an earlier exit. 

I know it happens. I know it was very, very early and that it was never really a baby. But in your head, the second you see that positive result, it IS a baby. No, we weren’t expecting it, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept it was over before it had even begun. 





  1. July 3, 2014 / 8:01 pm

    Big hugs sweetheart always here for youXXXX

  2. July 3, 2014 / 8:17 pm

    I’m so sorry. I wished I’d known at BritMums what was happening could have given you a hug at least. I’ve been there (happened to us with our first baby on the last day of our honeymoon) and I found it utterly devastating. You are so right, as soon as you see the positive test it becomes a beautiful baby, your future and you can’t help but imagine and make plans. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Huge hugs xxxx

  3. July 3, 2014 / 8:29 pm

    I feel really sorry for your loss. I didn’t know that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage. Such a high probability. Take great care.

  4. July 3, 2014 / 8:31 pm

    So sorry to read this. Too many of us have experienced this and even at that stage it’s an incredibly hard thing to cope with. Hugs for you.x

  5. July 3, 2014 / 8:37 pm

    I’m so sorry hun, I know what you are going through, It happened to me in December. Thinking of you xxx

  6. July 3, 2014 / 8:38 pm

    Oh darling, I am so terribly sorry. I am currently in the two weeks waiting, so opened this post with some trepidation. Much love. I hope God gives you strength to get through this. Thinking of you. Liska xx

  7. July 3, 2014 / 8:40 pm

    So sorry for your loss!! Thinking of you x

  8. July 3, 2014 / 9:01 pm

    Oh my goodness I am so sorry to read this 🙁 Thinking of you. Big Cyber Hugs xxxxx

  9. July 3, 2014 / 9:58 pm

    So so sorry for your loss 🙁 <3

  10. July 4, 2014 / 12:57 am

    Hugs Kate. Really sorry to hear this. Hope you can have time to grieve

  11. July 4, 2014 / 8:42 am

    So so sorry to read this – and I’m glad that you have written about it. I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks and it is something that definitely needs to be talked about more. Big hugs xx

  12. July 4, 2014 / 11:59 am

    So sorry to read this. I can totally imagine that, even though it wasn’t planned or expected, that you started to get excited and you felt the loss just as strongly as if it had been expected. Well done to you for making it through Britmums Live with that hanging over you.

  13. July 4, 2014 / 12:47 pm

    So sorry to hear this. losing a baby at any point of pregnancy is horrible. I had a miscarriage 18 months ago at 9 weeksand it was heart breaking x

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