Is it ever OK to smack? Colette’s thoughts.

Yesterday I wrote a post about discipline – and more specifically, whether it is ever OK to smack a child. Today, the lovely Colette from We’re going on an adventure follows on from this post with HER thoughts on smacking.

Having read Kate’s post about smacking yesterday it got me thinking . . . 
 
I was certainly smacked as a child and came to no harm.  It was rare and I knew that it meant I had REALLY crossed the line.  I remember making the somewhat foolish mistake of telling Mum defiantly “That didn’t hurt!” only to get a harder smack.  Goodness knows what I’d done but I’d certainly made her cross.  I also remember, on one occasion, my Grandma chasing me upstairs with a slipper – gosh that hurt when she caught me!  It makes me laugh to think of it now as it was so completely out of character, I dread to think what I had done to make her to do that to me but I must have deserved it – I don’t even remember her raising her voice normally.
 
Smacking children

Photo Credit: thejaymo via Compfight cc

 
As a parent myself I’ve never smacked my children and nor do I intend to – for me it would represent a loss of control.  If I were to smack one of my children it would be because they had made me so cross I couldn’t think of anything else to do and it would therefore be me taking my anger out on them rather than constructively trying to resolve the situation.
 
Much like shouting is a last resort and when I shout at my kids it’s usually a loss of control.  My default status is to what I call “stern” them which is using a very cross and firm voice but is entirely controlled on my part.  More effective too. 
 
As a teacher I would lose my job if I were to hit a child so why would I do it at home?  This isn’t to say that I don’t understand why some people do it but more that I’ve spent the last 15 years training in, and practising, a whole array of behaviour management techniques which don’t involve physical harm so I unsurprisingly use those! 
 
I completely agree with Kate’s point that if you hit your child you can’t really be surprised when they turn round and do it back – be it to you or someone in the playground at school who has made them cross.  Children learn what they live – if you don’t want them to go round lashing out in anger then don’t do it yourself! 
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2 Comments

  1. August 30, 2014 / 1:42 pm

    I always find this topic so interesting. I was never beaten, but I remember getting a little smack once or twice and like you, I knew it meant I had seriously crossed a line. But I never in turn hit anyone in the playground or elsewhere. I think it very much depends on the frequency and aggression associated with said smack. My parents always made me understand why I got the smack and I never did it again. I have teacher friends who complain that some of the kids are so out of control because they are not disciplined at all and I agree. I do believe that the kids nowadays are a lot worse because it’s no longer a matter of “the village raising the kids”. Will I ever smack my son, I don’t know. But I wouldn’t rule it out.
    Kiddy Reviews recently posted…Cruiser Shoes – Clarks First ShoesMy Profile

    • August 30, 2014 / 6:37 pm

      Yes there is a definite lack of routine, structure and discipline in so many children’s lives these days and it does make school life very tricky at times! I totally agree that it is a real shame that the “village raising the kid” era is no more x
      Colette recently posted…Fisher-Price Discover Your Way – ReviewMy Profile

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