To my younger self…

To the younger me Photo Credit: Olivander via Compfight cc

To the 15 year old me.

There are so many big decisions ahead right now. School is coming to an end. and although you have always known what you want to do with your life, people are making you doubt yourself, pushing you into courses and jobs that just aren’t you. Don’t take that part time job in the solicitors that people tell you will ‘open doors’ for you – it will be the wrong doors. Follow your heart, stick with what you have always known, and stand up for how much you love it, how you it really is. If you don’t, you will end up rubbing along nicely at college but always knowing that tis isn’t the right place for you right now – and trust me, in a few months you will end up doing what you should have done all along. But you wasted a few months doing something you didn’t love. Life’s too short – go for it now.

To the 20 year old me.

It’s fantastic that you have found the love of your life already, it really is. You’re one of the lucky ones. Treasure it. Don’t rush it. You don’t have to get married and buy a house right now. Sit back, go with the flow and enjoy the freedom of being with that special person. Suck it and see for a while – and if it’s still as fantastic next year, or the year after that, then jump in with both feet, grab it and don’t let go. If he’s the one, he will still be there, by your side.

To the 21 year old me.

21 feels so grown up, right? But in reality, you are still so young. You have a tiny baby in your arms, and it’s the best feeling in the world, but the birth was horrific, traumatic, devestating. Am I right? Get some help now. Please don’t let it fester. Time isn’t  agreat healer, and this will come back to bite you on the bum later in life. It might be next week, next month, when you have another child, all of those times. But it isn’t ever going away until you deal with it, push for the help you need. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and the sooner you are healed, the sooner you can enjoy every second with that precious little bundle in your arms. 

To the mum of 2.

2 beautiful children – how blessed do you feel right now? It’s amazing. There is nothing better. Don’t let it be tarnished by that cloud hanging over you again. Call it what you will – postnatal depression, post traumatic stress, it doesn’t matter. Reach out again, get the help, don’t be rushed back to work and putting the babies in childcare if you can’t handle that right now. Money is important, but it’s not everything. Cut back, watch every penny and you can do it. Look at other avenues – what do you love doing? Writing maybe? Think outside the box, stop caring what others think and jump. You will never, ever regret trying. You will only regret the things you didn’t do.

To the mum of 3. 

Another bundle of joy, another one who fought hard to be here. Focus on that, and not the days spent watching the machines beeping, helping him breathe and feed. They seemed like long days then, but in the long run, those days are short. The rest of his life is what matters. Look around you. At 30 years old you have a home, a wonderful husband, 3 amazing, incredible children and a job you love. That’s all you have ever wanted, and maybe sometimes you need to stop rushing around, cuddle those babies and kiss their little heads. They are small for such a short time, and you are missing it. You’re missing it. 

This is me now. When I look back at some of the decisions I made, I know that I was reckless and foolish, but show me a young person who isn’t. The decisions I made, no matter how silly they seem now, led me to where I am today. And for that, I am thankful. Everyone wonders where they would be if they took a different path, it’s human nature. There are things I still need to take my own advice on, and as a very good friend told me last week ‘Chase that up – some demons still need laying to rest’. 

If you had the chance, what would you say to your younger self?

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411 Comments

  1. Catherine Culmer
    September 27, 2014 / 7:10 pm

    Don’t get into debt, don’t waste years and years renting – buy and get rid of that bloke!

  2. Gavin Cowell
    September 27, 2014 / 7:22 pm

    You have to work for it, mate. Wish someone had told me that.

  3. Victoria N
    September 27, 2014 / 8:14 pm

    Don’t always feel you have to follow the crowd – you will find others like you, you just have to search.

  4. Mary Chez
    September 27, 2014 / 9:12 pm

    Be more confident

  5. Julie Booth
    September 27, 2014 / 9:54 pm

    be more tactful and exhibit emotional intelligence

  6. Lynda Jones
    September 27, 2014 / 10:02 pm

    Enjoy every moment as it comes only once

  7. Jennifer Heard
    September 27, 2014 / 10:04 pm

    Old is not necessarily best

  8. emma hunt
    September 28, 2014 / 8:08 am

    I would say work hard and save save save 🙂

  9. cassie fraser
    September 28, 2014 / 10:05 am

    not to worry so much about the future!

  10. September 28, 2014 / 11:07 am

    Enjoy each day as it comes, don’t take things for granted.

  11. Hilda Hazel Wright
    September 28, 2014 / 11:35 am

    I’d say loosen up and lose those inhibitions that hold you back, life’s too short. Plus you’ve got the best body you’ll ever have and its beautiful, enjoy your youth while it lasts!

  12. Angela Wilcox
    September 28, 2014 / 11:40 am

    I would tell myself to worry less and to save more

  13. abigail edkins
    September 28, 2014 / 1:19 pm

    stick up for yourself more

  14. Rey Chunara
    September 28, 2014 / 1:32 pm

    I’d tell my younger self to savour and enjoy the good days

  15. Tracy
    September 28, 2014 / 1:38 pm

    I’d tell my younger self not to give a stuff what other people think and to live life for myself.

  16. September 28, 2014 / 2:27 pm

    I would say not to worry to much about what others think, as long as your happy thats all that matters

  17. September 28, 2014 / 2:28 pm

    I would tell my younger self that it is going to be a bumpy ride, but you wont regret a minute of it, even the crap bits, as they lead you to a happy place in the end.
    Sonya Cisco recently posted…Silent Sunday ~ 28th of SeptemberMy Profile

  18. jennifer thorpe
    September 28, 2014 / 2:43 pm

    I would say – save as much money as possible

  19. Bhavesh Mistry
    September 28, 2014 / 4:41 pm

    Be free, do whatever you feel like

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