Divorce can be very stressful for everyone involved, but it’s especially hard for the children. You’re an adult and you probably know how to deal with all your emotions (at least to some extent) whereas kids don’t know anything. Most adults don’t know how to prepare for a divorce, children even more so, but you are the only person who can help them at this point.
It may be challenging to help your children deal with their parent’s divorce, however, it’s not as hard as it may seem. The key rule here is to show your babies that you and your ex-partner still love them and that nothing will change that. There are a few things you can do to lessen the blow to your children, if you want to know what they are, keep reading.
Inform them about the divorce ASAP
In case you’re not aware, kids are more attuned to their parents’ feelings than we give them credit for. If they sense that something is wrong, they will know that there is a problem. Keep that in mind when you tell them about the divorce and don’t be afraid to tell them the truth. You should explain to them why you and your partner want to move on, and why you can’t live together as a family any longer. Tell them you still love them, and they will love you back in return.
Find out what they’re feeling
As mentioned before, children are very good at sensing their parents’ emotions. So, it’s very likely that they can sense that something is wrong with you and your ex-partner. It’s important to stay emotionally available and open to them and let them understand how you feel. You need to make sure they know that you love them and that you’re doing what’s best for everyone involved.
Reassure them they are not alone
After your divorce, your kids may be scared of losing another parent. The divorce of their parents may cause them to feel abandoned, worried, or even upset. For this reason, they may be scared of being alone in your company. However, now more than ever they need your presence. Do your best to be with them more than usual and you can even go out together to places you have always wanted to take them. Showing your children that they can count on you is the best way to help them deal with their parent’s divorce.
Help them join new activities
One of the many things that kids do during their summer break is joining in on new activities. Such activities can help them cope with their parent’s divorce in a healthy way. It will help them find friends and other people who share their interests, which will make them less lonely and less sad. However, don’t push your children into joining new activities if they don’t want to. Let them find what they want to do on their own, and encourage them when needed.
Help them find support
The divorce of their parents is a stressful time for kids too and if not treated properly it can have a lasting effect on their lives. Therefore, it’s essential to help your children find a counsellor or therapist, so they learn how to deal with the divorce in a healthy way. They should also learn how to deal with their emotions and find positive ways of expressing themselves. This will help them grow into strong adults who know how to deal with life’s challenges without fear.
Help them embrace the future
At some point, you’ll need to explain to your children that the divorce is final. That means that they’ll live with their mother or father, and that’s it. Remember to be reassuring and make sure they do not feel abandoned. Instead of allowing them to feel sad, encourage them to embrace the change. It will be a good opportunity for them to develop their independence and learn how to live without you. Even though it might seem hard at first, the more they practice, the easier it will be for them in the future.
Don’t forget that you can always ask for help if you need it. The divorce was a mutual decision of both you and your partner and that means that you’re not alone. You can always call a family attorney or a divorce attorney if you have any questions regarding your situation, or you can always reach out to your friends and family for support.
Summary
Divorce is a difficult situation for everyone involved, including your children. Parents often get so caught up fighting each other that they forget the lasting impact it can have on their children. Children of divorce face more difficulties in life, so try to make sure that you are not the cause of their trauma. There are ways on how to delicately break the news to your kids and get them used to their new way of life. You can make the divorce easier on yourself and everyone else by being open and communicative about the situation. If you do so, you’ll be able to help your children better understand what’s going on, and they will be ready to move on in the future. Divorce is a rough time in so many people’s lives, the best we can all do is try to not let it affect our children.
