Divorce is a stressful time whatever the situation, but if you are pregnant, or your partner is pregnant, the potential for parental disputes adds an extra layer of pressure that can cause you to think again about whether it’s the right time to go through with it. We explore six major reasons why you may want to reconsider.
Hormones and emotions
Changing hormone levels can have a radical impact on our decision-making. Although the finer details are still being researched, we know that changes in levels of hormones such as oestrogen and progesterone can have an effect on how we process information and make decisions. For this reason, unless of course it is a situation involving abuse of some sort, it is an idea to consider whether divorce proceedings can be at least postponed, when you may think differently about things or have a different approach.
Stress
An increase in stress can affect both baby’s and mum’s health, and divorces are renowned for raising stress levels. There’s always something that needs signing, sorting out, agreeing or disagreeing with, at a time when you most want to relax and take the weight off your feet. Heightened stress levels can also lead to high blood pressure, which increases your chances of giving birth prematurely or low birth weight.
Support
Being a single parent is not for the faint hearted. It’s a relentless responsibility, especially with a newborn. Even if you or your spouse don’t feel the same way about each other, you may decide that it’s viable to continue to stay together at present to ensure that full support for the pregnant partner is on hand. Towards the end of the pregnancy, there will be much more reliance on the non-pregnant partner with getting to appointments and taking on more of the physical tasks around the house. Also, after the baby is born, it is handy to have someone around whilst you get back on your feet.
Finances
Put simply, raising a child is a very expensive business, and you may find that you would prefer to be spending your money on your newborn as opposed to spending it on solicitor’s fees and court costs, if it can be avoided. Take time to consider whether a possible house move, which could mean changing medical practice or midwife, could be triggered by a divorce, and if it’s the right time to undergo that sort of upheaval.
Close relationships
Unless there are safeguarding issues, it is important for every child to build a strong, positive relationship with both parents. Although it’s not impossible to nurture these relationships when going through a divorce, it is easier if parents are not engaged in a stressful legal battle. You may still go your separate ways eventually, but give some consideration as to when that is best, and whether it is better for the baby to have both parents around full time when they are born.
Time is a healer
It is often said that babies can either make or break a relationship. One thing is for sure, they change everything, and can totally alter the dynamic between parents. There are no guarantees they can save the relationship, but there is a chance that they might, it has been known to happen. Think about whether it is worth holding off to find out how it changes your relationship.
In conclusion
Take some time to consider some of the reasons to reconsider whether divorce is the right step for your growing family and do seek professional advice to help work through your relationship difficulties.
