Photo Credit: Nicky Wilkes via Compfight cc
On the whole, I try to surround myself with positive people. I know everyone has down days – myself included and I will always be there to support friends in need. But on a day to day basis, I want to be around positivity, I want to feel like the world is a happy place to be.
Let’s stop and think about it for a minute shall we? How blessed most of us are? I know I am – I have 3 wonderful children, another on the way, a happy marriage, a home of our own, food on the table. Everything I could wish for really. There are days when I curse things, days when I moan and complain, but underneath it all I know how lucky I am to be in this position.
Since starting this blog, I have been thrown into the wonderful world of the blogging community – and most of the time it’s an awesome place to be. Bloggers are a friendly bunch, there is always someone out there, no matter what time of the day or night, who will help, advise and go out of their way to keep you on track. There have been times where I have hated blogging – it’s the same with any job, there are days when you just want to shut it all out and watch crap TV. But bloggers rally round, boost you back up and give you a virtual kick up the bum and before you know it you are back on the blogging bandwagon. I have met so many wonderful people – far too many to mention here – and who I now class as true friends. I wouldn’t have met them if it wasn’t for this blog.
Having said all that, there are a small minority who make it a dark place to be sometimes. Really dark and negative. They bitch, they whine and they undercut. They don’t congratulate you on your achievements, but instead ask ‘why you?’ They complain that you get ‘better’ opportunities, despite the fact that we are all different and all have something unique to offer.
I just don’t get it.
I love it when my blogging friends do well. I love it when they get awards, receive a fantastic product to review, and get their posts featured on other sites. It just shows how much others love their work too – they deserve the recognition. They worked flipping hard for it. Why shouldn’t they shout from the rooftops about it? Why should they hide it away in case they upset someone else?
I have recently been having my blog header redesigned – my current header features 5 people and 5 handprints – and as we are soon to be a family of 6, it needed a tweak. I sent a sneak peek to a few trusted friends for some feedback. Now, I am all for constructive criticism – others pick up on things you may not have noticed yourself, and one of my lovely friends had a few fabulous suggestions that helped me make that header spot on. Others simply told me they loved it – and I trust their opinion. I got one reply that basically said ‘I don’t know why you are making a new header, it won’t get you any more views’.
Is it about that?
Do people really think I blog for stats? I like to think I am not that shallow. I love it when people enjoy my posts – but if my stats are down one day I don’t get too het up about it. I write what I want to write, when I want to write it – not everyone will love it all the time, and that’s fine. If we were all the same it would be a pretty boring world.
So, the point of this long and rambling post? Lets’ not spend all our time and energy putting other people down. Celebrate what others have achieved, and celebrate the fact they you are different. You will have achieved something else, somewhere else, that is much more you. We can’t all be the ‘top parenting blog’ – we are all top in our own way. Just remember how far you have come.
I could have written this – I LOVE the blogging community and we generally do support one another. I love watching others achieve fantastic things and always find it to be truly inspiring. It really does sadden me when people are negative – it happened to me when I was selected as a Butlins Ambassador – there is really no need to be bitter/bitchy. Every single blogger has something to offer and we are all different. Some get opportunities that others won’t and vice versa. That’s just the way it is and I wish everyone could just embrace it.
Samantha Rickelton recently posted…Breakfast at Cafe 21, Fenwick
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I agree – we all have something different to offer, and that’s something that we should celebrate!
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It’s great they we all have different things to offer – it’s what makes blogging so versatile and fun!
Such a great post Kate! Im sure there are a few bloggers thinking I don’t deserve to be shortlisted for a UK Blog Award but mostly other bloggers have congratulated me. I have been blogging for 20 months and love the opportunities it has brought my way, I appreciate them too! I have seen a (very small) negative side of the blogging world but it is knocked way out of the park by the niceness and lovely people. Keep doing what you do! I personally love your blog! xx
Lucie Aiston recently posted…Sibling Rivalry
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I think every blogger deserves an award just for being a blogger lol – it’s hard work! Thank you lovely x
Well said Kate i think your post has really resinated at how i have felt too!
Heres to more virtual cake, friendships and fun 🙂
p.s I am ousting out the negative (its very liberating)
Jaime Oliver recently posted…Magic Moments 19/1/15
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Let’s all oust the negative!
I only recently saw the darker side of blogging. Yes I’m sure we all have looked and thought wow I wish that was me whether it be blogging or otherwise but the whole cloak and dagger aspect of it all baffles me. Why would you not help a friend out or invite them to share an opportunity? I often copy friends into things I think are more suited to them than me and don’t understand how people can be so bloody horrible!
Like you say – surround yourself with positivity – your blog is one I always come to as it’s something I WANT to read xxx
Beth Twinderelmo recently posted…Bye Bye Page 3 … Hello Pages of Selfies
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It’s avery small minority I think – bloggers as a whole are a friendly bunch I find! I am glad you enjoy my blog, thanks for reading!
A fab post Kate and other wholeheartedly agree.
I love blogging but have stopped interacting much in the blogging groups as the whole why not me? Attitude of some is so petty.
We should all be proud of our achievements and not envious of others. Give thanks where thanks is due and be happy for others around us.
Clare @ Emmy’s Mummy recently posted…A family holiday to Florida doesn’t have to mean Theme Parks
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That’s just it isn’t it? We can’t all have the same opportunities – we are all different!
I completly agree, I love seeing the oppotunities that other bloggers get. It’s exciting and it is what makes bloggers different and interesting for our readers to read.
Stephanie recently posted…Main bedroom renovation is all done!
This is great Kate, I agree, it makes me sad that people cannot just be happy for one another. The world has enough nastiness in it without making our “online” world nasty too.
vicki – elliebearbabi recently posted…Dishy BT engineers, disappearing bloggers & weightloss!
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I agree – the world is a nasty place, and blogging should be a fun, supportive community. Most of the time it is, it’s just a shame it’s not all the time!
I love the post. I agree. There is a supportive community that I only came to see last year, but before hand with my first blog I met so many ‘indie’ elitist that just plain right are rude in the community.
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I think you get it everywhere – someone always has something negative to say!
Great post and I totally agree, why can’t people just be happy for other people. I haven’t seen the dark side yet however I try to distance myself a bit. I like to blog as and when too and don’t want to get bogged down with the whole stats thing.
Can’t wait to see the new banner 🙂 xx
The Breastest News recently posted…Review: Loveyush Nursing Scarf
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Best way to be – blog what you want and ignore the stats!
Hi Kate! You are spot on with this post. I’ve also
met many bloggers who would really go out of their way to help others, and I think that’s fantastic. And then, there are those who are just bitter about anything and bully others as well. It’s a sad reality but this happens not only online but offline as well. I tend to not associate myself with this type of peeps because they just bring you down. Too much drama lol.
Keep it up Kate! You’re doing just fine 🙂 xx Donah
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Thanks Donah – you’re right, the majority of people are so, so lovely.
Great post,I can not believe someone actually said that.I hate that some people can not be happy for someone but as soon as they get something good they want the world to be happy for them pretty selfish if you ask me.
Kay Adeola recently posted…Wendy Brown Art Is Amazing!!
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Yes, some people can be selfish – thankfully those people are few and far between!
I think it is a very small minority however some are quite influential and others get caught up, a bit like school yard bullying except on line and you can’t get away as easily.
However I have to say since becoming a mummy blogger (after being a photography blogger and fitness blogger) I have found the community much more welcoming and friendly, most people, especially in little corners and groups on the internet, are incredibly supportive.
It always surprises me when my stats are good I blog for me its cathartic and a nice archive of life, good feedback, the community and support are a bonus and stats are good for the geek in me.
Lovely post keep up the positive blogs maybe we will see a trend where people are more drawn to positivity than bitchiness – I certainly hope so x x
Sadie recently posted…The Scales
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It is such a small minority. Good to hear that the mummy blogger community seems to be a generally lovely one.
you know what its about time someone said it, im sick to death of hearing about bitching all over about bloggers success and posts they have written, I have recently set myself a challenge, one that some are questioning as selfish but n my eyes i simply have no idea how so, I simply want to leave comments on fellow bloggers posts and each day my aim is 100 different blogs , I see this as helping but some question whether i actually do it for a comment back , in all honesty it is nice to have people commenting on your blog but I dont expect anyone to return one if i write on theirs i simply enjoy reading everyones posts , putting my own insight into the thoughts of their posts and it simply gives me some spectacular read first thing in the mornign and before i go to bed , its like that zoella thing not long ago, everyone raging at the fact she was making something of her self, making a living through blogging and expanding her ways tomakeup and books but because she hadnt wrote it herself , people turned nasty, why? had she in fat done anyhting to harm anyone or herself, why shouldnt she have her own book, i think its a great thing for people to move forward , its just a shame that there are some people who feel they cant move at all in blogging without causeing trouble, nasty remarks or try to diss somehting becsue their views are not the same, wouldnt it be a boring world if we all thought, looked and acted the same , ? i think so and that is why i love to help fellow bloggers and will always support them , why shoudlnt i?
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Great post Kate, you know I feel the same and stats couldn’t be further form my mind most of the time! I love my positive blogging bubble and try not to let the negative people get me down x
Donna recently posted…FoodSaver
Oh huni I am sorry you have experienced this. I think I must walk around with my eyes shut as I don’t think I have some across more than the odd grumble from people. x #MMWBH
You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…My Diet Chef Weigh In #MySuccessStory
I’m a new blogger and a member of a few facebook communities. I haven’t yet asked for help from other bloggers as felt that they may not wish to help a newbie with what they may perceive as silly questions about SEO etc. when they are doing so well. But maybe I should as it sounds as though the majority wouldn’t mind.
lifewithsixkids recently posted…15 Best Things about Being Single
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You definitely should ask – 99.9% of the blogging community are amazing, and always more than happy to help a newbie. When I first started I asked endless questions, and everyone rallied around to help me.
Kate, I couldn’t agree more – this is all meant to be for fun. I’m so perplexed when it isn’t! On the whole, the community is incredibly supportive, and, I guess like anything, there will always be people who have their gripes and bad days. Keep surrounding yourself with positive people though. Love x
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The majority of people are so, so lovely and incredibly supportive. I agree that blogging should be enjoyable, let’s all keep up the positive love!
Absolutely agree Kate – we are all different and weird and great in our own ways. I write for myself nobody read blogs anyway do they??? 😉 xxx
Kerrie McGiveron recently posted…Review: Clarks School Shoes
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I love that we are all a bit weird in our own way 😉 I have no idea who reads my blog, that’s for sure lol
I’m pleased to say I haven’t had any negativity on or about my blog so I was surprised when I started seeing negative blog talk on Twitter. I know I sometimes wonder why other blogs have achieved things like awards and offers from brands when I’ve had very few opportunities, but then I realise it is generally because they work harder than me writing more posts or doing more promotion so they deserve it more than me. I actually enjoy seeing what other bloggers achieve because it inspires me.
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Great post! I never thought about that. I try to surround myself with people who are wired positively and minimise my time with people who suck away my energy. However, as you point out, that’s not really possible in the blogging world. It’s all public there. I don’t have first hand experience of this as I am just getting started. My advice to you is IGNORE the haters. Haters must hate and their negativity is usually just a reflection of their own insecurities and shortcomings. People who feel truly good and confident about themselves don’t need to put other people down in order to feel good about themselves. Just have compassion for them because they are suffering internally.
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