Is it OK to say I’m not OK?

I'm not OK

I’m not OK. Is it OK to say that?

I am 26 weeks pregnant with a happy healthy baby. I should be grateful – and I am. Believe me, I am. But I am also exhausted, struggling to sleep, struggling to manage work, the washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping. I am terrified about this baby coming too early and having to spend more weeks in special care. I am terrified that a new baby will disrupt our little family unit, that Gemma, Jacob and Max will feel left out, or not bond. I’m worried I won’t bond. I’m worried the postnatal depression will creep back and I will be lost in that dark cloud again. 

I have 3 wonderful children. I should be grateful – and I am. But I am also worried that I don’t give them enough time, that I am failing as a parent. Jacob is struggling at the moment, he has just had a series of blood tests as he is so tired, so pale, so angry all the time. I have failed him as a parent, he shouldn’t be feeling that way at 6. Gemma is 9, and I need to make time to have a growing up chat with her, but I don’t know what to say or where to start. Am I failing her too? Max is happy enough, but will the new baby change that? I don’t want to fail him. 

I have a supportive husband, a lovely home, a job that allows me to stay at home with the children. I should be grateful – and I am. But am I actually giving any of them the attention they need? By the time I have got the kids from school, cooked tea, bathed them and got them to bed I am too tired to tidy the house, too tired to work and give my blog the attention it needs, too tired to spend quality time with Kevin. I just fall asleep on the sofa, or go to bed early. Am I failing there too? Am I just being pathetic?

I have it all. I have everything people want, everything I want. But I still don’t feel like I am OK. Is it OK to say that?

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37 Comments

  1. claire woods
    April 5, 2015 / 8:25 pm

    it’s normal and okay to say you feel like that.

  2. Diana Croos
    April 5, 2015 / 9:06 pm

    its absolutely ok

  3. claire griffiths
    April 7, 2015 / 12:17 pm

    it is ok to say that you are not ok , to be honest i am a person who will say that i am ok even if i am not i know i should not be this way but i cant help it 🙂

  4. Sara JaneG
    April 11, 2015 / 8:52 pm

    100% it’s ok!!!!

  5. Pam Francis Gregory
    April 12, 2015 / 7:45 pm

    It’s most definitely OK! Better out than in I say. Feelings ignored will only fester and come out stronger later!

  6. Sarah Franks
    April 13, 2015 / 1:25 am

    If you don’t say that, how will you ever grow? Being in a good place doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to be in an even better place – discontent can be the start of positive change.

    Just remember to be grateful for what you do have, and then use your discontent to work on rectifying the things you’re not 100% happy with. Even if you live to be 100 (if you live right), you’ll still have things you want to change about the world. Learning to work on those things without letting them get you down or letting make you forget about the good you do have – that, I think, is the key.

  7. julie perry
    April 13, 2015 / 11:09 am

    Yes it is ok to say you’re not ok whilst pregnant and due to become a parent wether it be first time or not. People around you need to know so then can support and help out. There is nothing wrong with admitting your fears or worries. Keeping things bottled up will just fester and make you anxious.Good luck 🙂

  8. soneailiami
    April 14, 2015 / 2:26 pm

    it’s confused 😉

  9. Kirsty Fox
    April 14, 2015 / 10:26 pm

    It is absolutely 100% ok to say your NOT ok. We all have these struggles and worry about things believe me you are not alone.

  10. Susan B
    April 15, 2015 / 2:53 am

    How refreshing. Yes! An excellent piece of writing.

  11. vickie
    April 15, 2015 / 1:49 pm

    Yes its 100% ok to say you’re not ok, its definitely healthier to be open about things like that 🙂 I wish id been more open

  12. ellie spider
    April 15, 2015 / 11:16 pm

    Of course its okay to not be okay, to be worried, to worry about your kids and family. It’s normal – as for failing your kids they have parents who love them and provide for them – sometimes kids just go through stages where they act out, sometimes there is a reason behind it sometimes there isnt, all you can do is carry on as you are.

    I’m sure your doing a great job and to anyone looking in from the outside they are probably looking at you and thinking your a success without probs

  13. sally brown
    April 15, 2015 / 11:33 pm

    We get so used to saying we’re ok when we’re not x

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